A Question About Loss, Grief, Worthiness & Carrying On

Q) Hello ~ My partner of over 4 years died instantly 5 weeks ago. The shock and disbelief are still so surreal. I know he is gone but why? And I know he is in a beautiful place because he was such a decent, loving, kind, selfless soul. Now I am left alone. He was so much more evolved than me. He was my teacher. How can I move on? It is slowly seeping into my awareness the loss of him in my life. I never knew such unconditional love, but my love was nowhere as loving and giving as his. I was not able to love like he did. Now I feel like I did not deserve him. Can you help me?

A) I certainly do understand the shock and anguish associated with the apparent loss of a friend or loved one, but the 'loss' is only of the form that was familiar to you on this plane ... and not of that blessed soul whom you love and who still, indeed, loves you!

It is all right to grieve and experience pain; that's very natural and even to be expected. Allow yourself to be with it ... and flow. It is all right to do so. It is also essential, however, that you not allow yourself to fall into the misconception that he is actually 'non-existent' now and the further erroneous thinking that you 'don't deserve' his love. Of course you deserve his love ... and any love that comes your way! It is love that heals and revives! Please don't allow any negative religious (or other) dogma or fear-based thinking to cause you to think yourself unworthy ... ever! You are a part of Source and are divine in essence. You can never be separate from Source ... or those you love—both on this plane and in the Afterlife—because we are all One. The illusion of separation is merely a perception of the ego that is entirely erroneous. There can truly be no separation, except in a mind blinded by fear and nothing more.

It is hard to be on this dense plane known as the physical (or 3D) realm, because we are so blinded to what is real and true and what is all around us at all times. Because the physical plane is such a low and dense vibrational frequency, we cannot 'see' what is all round us, because it's at a higher vibrational frequency from what we can perceive on the physical plane. It's very much the same principle as with a radio or television. When you're tuned in to one station/channel (frequency), that's the only one you can experience in the moment, but the other stations/channels are broadcasting simultaneously, even though you cannot hear/see them! It's simply because you're not tuned into them, that's all.

As a medium, I can and do tune in to these other frequencies all the time. The fact is that we're all natural mediums, but have been conditioned out of that natural ability and shunned it. We've been taught not to honour our own intuition and experiences of other realms and told that that's only 'our imagination'; and all of this higher awareness has been 'demonised' and thwarted. Nothing could be further from the truth and, thank goodness, this is starting to be proven and discussed everywhere now—that we are multidimensional beings who have got access to awareness way beyond the limited scope of the mortal ego mind!

Your beloved has merely moved on to a higher frequency now and one that you can't easily access presently. This is especially true since you're in the throes of grief, for time being, and that makes it even harder to see or perceive his presence round you—not to mention the fear that is currently plaguing you. You just need to work on tapping in to a different radio programme, as it were, and not allowing yourself to get 'stuck' in just one radio broadcast setting. Am I making sense to you, here?

The good news is that, the veil is getting thinner, and that is partly as a result of the massive awakening that's going on now. And as more and more individuals start to realise their own divine heritage, this will become easier and easier all of the time. More and more people are able to pierce the veil and see into other dimensions and commune with those they love who are on the Other Side. You can do this too ... and it will become much easier as you're able to relax, for one, and honour your own worthiness and the fact that there is a deep and abiding love between you two—always has been and always will be!

Of course you'll miss the exchange that you shared on this plane and there's nothing wrong with that, but as you realise that no one can ever really die—that we merely transition to another frequency or dimension and change form—you will experience greater peace of mind and even feel a sense of elation.

Whilst you're quietly in your space, just start talking to your beloved, as you would when he was visible on this plane, and just take the time to listen and be open to what you may experience. You may feel a simple warm glow inside ... or you may actually see and/or hear something. But don't be upset if you don't experience something straight away. Sometimes, it takes time for you to be relaxed or aware enough to receive input ... and ... he may still be in the 'intake' period where he must make his adjustments and integrate! There is also a time of rest that the newly transitioned soul may go through, so it will be a 'quiet' time with no exchange taking place, but not to worry. You'll connect again soon. :)

You may also experience his presence in your dreams. Pay attention to that. People on the Other Side often reach out to us via our dreams, because we're more open and receptive in the dream-time. Whatever you do, be open to the myriad of ways that he may make his presence known to you. He could even speak to you through a pet, birds or butterflies, clouds in the sky, a breeze, the sensation of a soft touch ... oh it can go on in countless ways.

You can go on, my dear, and your beloved wouldn't want you to shut down, just because he's 'graduated' and moved on from this plane. That would be a bit selfish, really, and you need to celebrate his transition to a higher realm. Sure, all graduations are a mixed blessing—with tears and laughter—but one should feel joy when one graduates, not sorrow or regret. You are not parted from him ... ever! He's just removed an old garment (earth-suit) that he no longer needs, but he's still very conscious and very much in tact. Listen ... and love ... and allow yourself to receive love—very important!

A Question About the Right To Die

1) Is doctor-assisted suicide okay from a spiritual point of view? Ethically, I agree for a person's right to die.

I totally agree with you on this ... and it's something that I've been meaning to write about. This has also been brushed upon on some of my radio shows. I think it's really up to the dying person ... and ... that individual needs to be really in tune with his/her soul, because the answer, the truth as to what is best ... is there. It's not about the ego and trying to 'escape' pain, but really being in touch with the soul and honouring the calling of the soul. On a soul level, we know what is right and appropriate ... and no one's got the right to make any judgements about this.

It has been pointed out that, during ones lifetime, there are actually four or five 'exit points' made available, when one can choose to either transition or not; i.e., there isn't only one 'right' time to transition. With all the times I've experienced physical death, I should have a dozen of them! LOL ;) Yet, I kept being told that I've still got more work to do. It's a hard call, really, and yet we'll know when it's really our time—provided we tune in to our soul and not the ego ... that harbours fear and causes poor decision-making. When we're in a place of love, then we gain the clarity we need to know what is right and true...

2) On two occasions the following happened: A person prayed for someone to be cured of her lung issue and 2 months later her brother died out of nowhere. My friend prayed for her mother to live one more year, and 3 weeks later the brother of the mother just collapsed; he was in good health. Is there some kind of spiritual law that demands balance? If so, how does it work?


That's very interesting, indeed, but I don't think it's some kind of 'pay-off' or 'bargaining' or anything negative in the least. Perhaps, on a soul level, these individuals did a 'swap', as it were, or made some kind of agreement, but also not necessarily. These things do happen; and it could, indeed, be a balancing of sorts. However, it must be made very clear that no one was/is in 'error' or being 'punished' in any way. Death is not about 'punishment'; it's merely the ending of a chapter in a souls sojourn and nothing more.

Also, when I pray for someone, I pray for the best good for that individual to take place—not for the fulfilment of my own wishes or desires for that person; i.e., that s/he will live longer or be cured, etc. Perhaps it is indeed time for someone to transition ... and it is selfish of us to demand that one remain on this plane longer, because of our own needs and expectations, or that we'll miss him or her otherwise. Again, it's very important to pray for what is right and appropriate and for the best good to occur with the individual in question. We must never impose our will on anyone, ever!

There is always a reason why one is ill ... or disabled ... or on the verge of transitioning and it's not our right to interfere with that process. Again, we can pray for the best good—by all means—but we must also honour the bigger picture at work in ones life, which may require that one experience these things or ultimately transition. All of these things bear gifts that we may not be able to perceive on the surface, but that are really serving the greater good—not only for the individual experiencing it, but for others as well.

Once people start to change their attitudes about death and realise that it's an illusion and no longer regard it with dread, then all of these desperate pleas and demands—that are centred in fear and feelings of loss—will dissipate and love will provide for more enlightened decisions and approaches to allowing one to experience what ones soul requires for ones sojourn on this plane and in the Afterlife.

We must also not make the mistake of insisting that 'one is too young to die'—e.g., if one is a child for instance—because the soul may have decided to have a very brief sojourn on this plane in the first place. This happened to me a lot—since I've been ill and have had 'death experiences' since childhood. People insisted that I was 'too young to die', but how would they even know? From the ego perspective, we cannot know 'when' is the 'right' time to transition. That's why we need to remain open and receptive to divine wisdom—again that reaches us through our soul, not the ego mind. It is also appropriate to give thanks for the ones who have had a brief sojourn on this plane ... and for the light they shared whilst they were here.

Some souls may have very brief parts on the 'stage of life', whilst others have very long ones ... but love knows no time and every presentation and sojourn is in perfect synch with the divine plan. When we rise above ego judgements and reside in love, then the perfection becomes obvious.